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Rain Gates

by Dessiderium

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Nekobibu
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Nekobibu All this fantastic music from ONE individual?!
Eternal respect!
Warangelic
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Warangelic The last time that I was fascinated by an album with songs having an averahe 10-minute running time was Blackwater Park by Opeth. And the songs are well-crafted. Favorite track: Rain Gates.
Metallurgical Fire
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Metallurgical Fire If Rain Gates (title track) doesn’t make you buy this instantly then we’re very different people. Alex Haddad is on another level when it comes to emotionally resonant progressive music. Favorite track: Rain Gates.
Marshall Lochbaum
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Marshall Lochbaum Blackened melodic metalcore or whatever. ANYWAY, the last time anyone put together a collection of ten-minute songs this well-written and dynamic was Opeth's Morningrise. Favorite track: The Earthworm's Eye View.
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1.
To hold and feel beyond what’s real Reject the light, shield out the sun the sun that kills the dark Obsessed with all that never was my deterioration ever grew Born, an addiction to despair why can’t I feel ok? I search my past in desperate hope to find my roots of pain I realize it every time, my perception is the birth of my hate that I feel for this world and every breathing being So how can one be happy knowing joy is an illusion of the mind If joy is born from suffering then pain is all that’s real I beg to fate to send my way a figure that can heal But every time I open up I am met with disgust What I speak is foreign to the one who stares directly through me I dreamt a thousand ways to end it all Can never bring myself to fall Step down, I gaze at the ground and contemplate what could have been I’ve always felt this way since yesterday Of flirting with the unknown place, I’ll meet with open embrace Until then I’m trapped inside This life, burning inside How could I succumb to what destroys me evermore Dismal thoughts manifest the brain A product of a project, chemically controlled The recognition of my assembly leaves me disturbed Programmed instinctual emotions I am nothing but a pulse To hold and feel Beyond what’s real Reject the light, shield out the sun And never let it…. Inside Lights glow where you can’t see them In deep water they allure me Please guide me there To the city beneath the lake I will wait for you forever I won’t let you go Please don’t join me for solace I will come to you The rain will come and flood tomorrow The rain will wash away the sorrow It’s a feeling from you to me that brings me home again, at peace again Once again it comes Then goes, then comes The cycle enslaves me Burning Loveless Fading My sun within the dark Obsessed with all that never was My deterioration grew endless Lost, the aptitude to feel Why can’t I feel a thing?
2.
Rain Gates 10:20
This is where it begins, In the golden home made of brick Where you’ll always be I thought by now you’d run away Off to an unknown distant place, Where you’d be free You’re trapped inside the yellow house Your silenced voice would come to sound Where the rain gates heal Screams stuck in the walls No sound will ever escape this place No one will ever know You are the flood, I see from the window Nobody seems to know The sun will drown for you, The flood Take the bones to the shed you built, with your hands and your guilt and all that you hate There’s a murderer (in here) And I’ll love him forever Dreams were raped, character set ablaze in this room where I’d stay and swallow the flames I am dead (in here) And now we wait… Wait Erase who I am, (who am I?) I’m the hate that birthed this family I don’t know the reasons why you are the way you are but I know for myself (Is this your life?) How don’t you know? (Don’t you know?) I’m the face of all that you never were Hand on the neck, belt choke, burn the skin just please don’t leave me alone Is this your life? (Hold me) It seems I’ll never go Always in your arms In your hands, the source of love glows Under your eyes, I feel ok The clouds call me home The roof waves to the hilltop I see my shadow drowning And falling from the leaves I found you at the gates Where have you been? I see the morning after Next to me, inevitably I call out in the rain: Take me I thought by now you’d run away Off to an unknown distant place, Where you’d be free You’re trapped inside the yellow house Your silenced voice would come to sound Where the rain gates heal Hate is all I am, it’s from the pain you gave Hate is all I am, it’s from the pain you gave to me The final moment comes to tell With one last breath in the golden home This is where you’ll always be You are the flood
3.
Tearing the roots from the core Burning my flesh in this immortal life I am becoming a shadow Abandon the light to merge with the night Erupting from my human shell There is nothing that could have prepared me Leaving my body at the door Stepping out, unknowing I'd ever return Consuming greed and embracing the hate Falling deeper in this world of decay See who I am and I fall to my knees Drowning in thoughts as there's collapsing reality I swallowed the guilt by the foreign forces unknown to the protected mind Dreaming the past, thoughts like knives I never knew I could succumb to this The _ _ _ _ _ of April knew all I was Failing, guilted, weakness, Falling in the void Hopeless, falling, dying alone Dreamless, heartless, mindless, Following an impulse Soulless, drowning, dissolving alone Their faceless, shadows from the netherworld Malicious, they mock, they're threatening me Encrypted in their concealed speech, in secret, they hold the senses of my contempt It's brightening, a glow from the sky The shadows have healed with words of awakening truth Ripping the flesh off my soul Cleansing the being whose been locked away Surrender my fate to the Gods Begging for guidance to the stars above The source enveloped me I fell to my knees I cried to the shadows for mercy I looked at my shell from a pair of foreign eyes, and saw where I went when I died
4.
Enter Green 10:21
Dreaming of something but nothing is all that you are Faces come and they go and they're gone and they'll never return You can run but can not be free In this vessel you'll always be Until you enter the green Breathe in, merging with the air Breathe out, dimming of light Lost in color, what do you see? Worshipping something but nothing is all that you are Dreams will come and they'll go and they'll die never to be reborn Holding time in the fragile palm of a hand on a broken arm Is green all that you are? Setting ablaze a thought from a memory Burning my shadows to ashes in the soil Kill all that I am, I am the enemy Growing from beneath, sprouting roots of hate There is a place where the mind is everything Tapping into this dreamscape of truth I see that you are not the enemy, Reborn in the light, the rise of the sun Searching for something in the air Waiting for a still time to approach me In the darkened corners of the world Mind and soul shared an eclipse of shadowed life Erasing all that I am, can this body host a freshly born mind I once thought the portal to the past, was the haven and heaven where I'd be The silent creek and the voice of the air When I close my eyes at last I see you in a scene from the past A smile of health, I love all you are Mother and Father, will you be there in the dream park? When I close my eyes and enter the green
5.
Detached from present time, a forward moving past Reaching for memories The time is dead and gone, but there's a photograph It captured everything, a still eternity Deep in the Autumn orange beneath the dead leaves, there is a world that breathes life into memory I saw your silhouette, and I remember it I tried to let go but time would not let me so The sky was a pale dusk portrait The air carried the voices of the field In my young dreams, I'd soar above this dim reality I'd fly into the corners of my mind Embrace your yearning You are... And now the world cares not for my desire I weep alone, something has died in me And for my dead lost dreams, for my forgotten memory, and for all I'd loved, absent inside of me A final stanza, for the picturesque past that will never fade into the dark corners of the world Somewhere out there, there is preserved, moments in the autumn orange
6.
White air, good morning A first breath for those who cannot sleep I dreamt pictures of you A still face before the sunlight kills my picture of you And you’re gone like everything else in this dying time The candle fades, it’s July forever I remember, but it’s gone These burning pictures of you Not sure if you’re alive out there I’ve been dead for years An apparition drifting in air Please remember when I’m gone I’ll remember when you’re gone In the gray mist that lies amid the black pulses of the rhythm of heart An image of your face, a trace of your voice Stretches throughout the distorted oblivion in the darkening shadows of remembrance Held at the throat by nostalgias fist In a black hole in space there’s cemented bliss forever I’m living out the days through glass I know that this world does not return the time that decays I wake and I breathe and I sleep and repeat I know but can only hope there’s a sun beyond the damned Breathe what’s in your mind, and be my sanctuary Purple paint drips at the milk white nape Freckled stars on the pale sky’s morning The universe in longing mirrors you A million words shattered at your feet Finally rid myself of your disease The queen of glass, a new reality Through the window staring into her eyes I swear a reflection waved goodbye I feel you in every breath and see you in all that I do You are the air and the ash, the fire and the water Reject me from heaven’s gates, kill me alone, it’s ok In every word, every place, there’s a picture of…
7.
Her face, my eyes and our reflection in the mirror Dream space, warped time I found you in a dead place Hills burn, lights fade Hope dims in the shadow world Reach up, breathe in Drowning in oxygen And I’d hear, you ask “Why are you not alive?” I can’t explain the reason I’d like to die Dream waits, dream’s late I’m resting in your arms awake, alone, you’re nowhere to be found Kill me now There is a world where I can breathe, there is a world where I am awake It’s never here and now, only in dead time from the past and in your gaze I’d see, everything that I would become Look up and solemn swear I will find you in a crevice of space How many sleepless nights, I would try to inscribe you in ink Ceaseless pages filled, I wrote the words but they could not conceive A goddess of melancholia is my hollowness And if, once more I meet you in my sleep Swallow the pill, never to wake again In a white room, there was no place that I’d rather be Across from me, there was a face I saw in a dream She looked up, ineffable eyes under frozen streams I am not here, I am in limerence there with you When I die, I will break through the gates of time In search of the morning that killed the world I woke up and would never sleep again Forever this goes On your headstone waits a million songs You’re a vessel for all that I need to love You’re timeless, A portrait of you weeps up from above the rainfall escapes heaven to kiss your skin, you are boundless A thousand words only paints your lips A melody is all that you are Into my arms, you fell and dropped dead Now I burn Burning pictures of you Ashes, falling from above And once inside I woke up and was born There you were A vessel, a paragon The personification of my hate The embodiment of my love A figment of imagination Your existence led me to escape the world Tomorrow never comes And yesterday was the world When our skin melts, we can finally meld Forever one, forever at peace In a world with no oxygen

about

Music written between the years of 2010-2013

credits

released March 5, 2017

All music and words written and recorded by Alexander Haddad
Mixed and Mastered by Cameron Boesch
Artwork by Danielle Masek at PixelCore / Art and Design

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Dessiderium Phoenix, Arizona

Solo project of Alex Haddad.

Other bands featuring this artist:

Arkaik

Atheist

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